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Coping with a heavy burden.

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Big Lew

This IS My Life
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You never know as you go through life what's lying around the corner waiting to see
if you have the ability to adjust, take on added challenges, and to test both your physical
and mental strengths. For me, things were rolling along quite nicely for many years without
any real worries as I was able to enjoy the outdoors, including with my family. Then came
a health issue that slowed me down but not to the point I couldn't still enjoy a quality of life.
Recently my wife has become all but immobile with cancer which has me doing everything for
her at the same time as having to do all our domestic chores. No problem, I've been able to
adjust and handle it all, but any outdoor's activity, including even taking the dog out for exercise
has been put on the back burner. This last week has been the most challenging, what with having
all the water lines replaced in our house which required me to pack and move a lot of stuff, fridges,
deep freeze, washer and dryer, and heavy furniture. On top of all that I've had to physically get my
wife to many doctor and hospital appointments. Then there was the getting of medicines, arranging
for a bunch of specialty handicap furniture, and shopping. Well be darned, I've met those challenges,
pasted those tests, and I feel pretty good about it. I now have a lot of respect for the many others that
have been put in similar situations and it's a good feeling knowing it can be done.
 

sealevel

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i feel for you dave i have been doing that for a few years . but i am still trying to work at least 30 hours a week . house keeping suffers i like good food so i cook real food .
 

Round Boy

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Sorry to hear of your troubles Dave. However, the good news is you have taken on the load and you are carrying it well. You are in good company. There are many in your situation or similar. I too have health issues which make doing anything difficult. With my wife working, many times away for a week or more, it falls to me to maintain the house and care for the dogs.
It hurts when I cant take them for walkies. Life is about balancing things now. Do this today, that tomorrow. Eventually it all works out. The house stuff falls to me anyway cause I am the one at home. Retirement means you don't do the job anymore, but you do a whole bunch of other stuff everyday. Hang in there buddy.
 

Big Lew

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Not complaining at all, it could be a lot worse. Because we used to share all the household chores
it didn't seem that bad, but now with it all on me, I can see why some people hire staff to do it, lol!
Just having a big dog inside most of the time is almost a full time job in feeding, watering, vacuuming
twice a day, washing the floors, drying towels, and blanket covers at least 2-3 times a week. I'm getting
the hang of it by multi-tasking in cooking and preparing meals while having the washer and dryer going,
and providing my wife's care as I do one room at a time. Timing and planning ahead is the key so I'm
able to slip out to do the shopping etc. Making sure she always has easy access to a phone and walkie
talkie makes things a lot easier as well for the both of us. Getting her in and out of the house and truck is
the most trying and difficult so I'm looking into getting equipment to assist in that.
 

Round Boy

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Well if its one thing a long working career gave us is a great work ethic, organizational skills and the ability to multi task and stay with ONE job until its done.
I have a dear friend who is dealing with very much the same thing. His wife has been brave, and fought hard against the cursed disease, but her time is at hand. He had to take a leave from work to care for her. In and out of the hospital, and she is on strong pain killers.
I will tell you the same thing I told him. You are doing a good job of looking after your home and the love of your life, But don't forget to look after yourself.
Too often the care giver is overlooked. Take time for yourself Dave, some how.
Take care, Jerry
 

Piperdown

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Chin up lew, i too am dealing with a wife with terminal cancer. You have to take one day at a time, try to think positive, i know it is not all that easy but it helps. Talk about the good times you have had in your life and laughter can brighten even the darkest of days. Cancer is a dreaded disease and shows no favourites, keep fighting the fight
 

Big Lew

This IS My Life
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Chin up lew, i too am dealing with a wife with terminal cancer. You have to take one day at a time, try to think positive, i know it is not all that easy but it helps. Talk about the good times you have had in your life and laughter can brighten even the darkest of days. Cancer is a dreaded disease and shows no favourites, keep fighting the fight
Yup, I have to remember that not all people are like me and accept that we can go at any time.
You're right in that talking about the good times and inserting a bit of humour can help in taking
a sick person's mind off their problems for a little while at least. We just returned from a cancer
consultation which wasn't good news. We both were pretty sure it wouldn't be, so she took it fairly
well. Her main wish is to get relief from the constant severe pain. Hopefully the agenda they are
preparing her for will do that. On the plus side, palliative care is supposed to help in setting up
home care, including a lot that is needed to assist her in functioning which will certainly help me
as I can't lift her without causing even more pain related to a fracture in her spine caused by the cancer.
 
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